April 17th, 2019

Hypocrisy in real time

I just wanted to put this up on the ol’ intertubes an additional time, because it’s pretty much the best example of IOKIYAR* I’ve ever seen.

*It’s OK If You’re A Republican
In: Other, PoliticsNo Comments

March 8th, 2019

Pay her. Pay that woman her money.

:::title must be read in the appropriate Teddy KGB voice:::

So, the most successful women’s soccer team in human history is having to sue the US Soccer federation to get paid as much as their dreadfully-underperforming male counterparts. Jeebus Crist.

It’s not the most popular sport around, so a couple quick facts on how absurd this is:

1. The men’s team sucks. Like, a lot. They made it to third place…in 1930, by way of miracle and the fact that it was the first-ever world cup and only 13 nations bothered to show up. It took 64 years for them to get past the first round again, in 1994. In 1998, they followed up that performance by placing dead last.

2. The women’s team fucking rules. Like, a lot. They made it to third place in 1995, 2003 and 2007. Second place in 2011 in a heartbreaker of a game. They have been champions three times.

3. Count up all the cups in that last point. Total of 7, right? Well, that’s the total number that have ever taken place. That’s right: the women have never finished below third. Germany is the closest contender for being so superiorly badass, but they managed to screw up the one tournament they hosted (kind of a theme for the Germans).

4. I can’t find a clip to link to, but I promise you I’ve actually seen one of their opponents shaking before kickoff. Literally shaking with fear of the impending asswhipping before them.

Need more?

Think of it this way: saying the USMNT should get paid more than the USWNT is like saying the players from Brazil should get paid less than the guys from Poland.

Still not convinced?

Well, here’s the women’s team:

Here’s the men’s team (after failing to qualify for the last WC at all):

So just pay them already. Last thing you want is to piss them off. They destroy pretty much anyone who gets in their way.

In: News, OtherNo Comments

February 22nd, 2019

Fraudulent crickets

The Mark Harris story in North Carolina has only one valid reaction gif:

There is no possible manner in which I can quantify the volume at which a looped track of “OF COURSE THEY DID” is replaying in my head.

Any idiot who’s ever worked with absentee ballots knows they were breaking the law. It was patently obvious that the fraudster McCrae Dowless was going to do something illegal. The candidate’s son explicitly told his father that this was going to happen. Then, after the fact, it was painfully apparent they hadn’t bothered to try to hide it.

Hell, for a minute there, I was suspicious that they were faking all of this in an attempt to forcibly create a clear story of voter fraud for alternate political purpose. They were all just so bad at it.

But that’s not the ‘of course they did’ moment.

That moment was when I looked for the responses of the literally hundreds of Republican candidates and elected officials who had previously railed about voter fraud for years on end.

The ones who immediately enacted or shredded laws in the name of stopping voter fraud the instant Shelby County vs Holder came down. The ones who saw nothing wrong with voter intimidation squads or ID requirements that conveniently had a disproportionate effect on voters who tend to vote against them. The ones that tried to perpetuate the buffoonishly idiotic claim that 3 million illegal immigrants voted in 2016.

The ones who should be, right now, shouting from the rooftops that, right here, is undeniable proof that election fraud can happen.*

But instead:

*Seriously, they’ve been operating all this time with absolutely zero credible evidence. I would be ecstatic if someone so enthusiastically proved me right.

In: News, PoliticsNo Comments


IT guy, dev, designer, writer.

Got a degree in print journalism from UF but history dealt some bad cards to that industry, so I moved back to an earlier love: the computer.

Was recently at ZMOS Networks, but am now the Senior IT Associate at the Edna McConnell Clark Foundation.

My name is moderately common, as are a couple screen names, so always look for the logo to make sure you're reading something with official Km approval.

You can get to me directly with kyle(@)kylemitchell.org