Wednesday September 18th, 2019 15:05 Robot life imitates robot art

I rather enjoyed Disney’s Big Hero 6, both when it came out and today. Naturally the most impressive scenes centered around the amazing microbots that our story’s hero Hiro created:

But you want to know what’s way, way, way more impressive?

Humans just figured out how to make that real (albeit a thoroughly prototypical version).

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Wednesday July 24th, 2019 14:27 Rutger Hauer, 1944-2019

Still one of the best things ever recorded, and by far the best ad-lib in cinematic history:

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Monday June 3rd, 2019 23:35 Pulling a Tyrion

I must preface that the wife and I are watching the entirety of Game of Thrones right now. Not a marathon, really. Just after work as we can. But it sure beats waiting a year between 10-episode seasons, that’s for damn sure.

Obviously Arya is my favorite character.

If you disagree, feel free to stand there in your wrongness and be wrong and get used to it.

To me, second place belongs to Tyrion. And my favorite moments of his are things like this:

And, just now, I want to pull one of those, regarding something I happened to say this evening, while talking to an old friend.

He had to get some sleep, knowing his youngest will be waking him at 6 a.m.

Me, I had a little work to finish.

Which led to:

“IT, man. IT. We build the world while you sleep.”

Or so the wise* man said.

It’s not at all untrue. “IT” is a generic term, but it only takes a moment to try to remember the world before the public internet or general-purpose PCs existed. And we** – networking, hardware, sec, ops, remote hands, pro*** consultants, l3 support, on-staff, full-stack, all of us – literally built the modern world.

*to be determined at a later date
**Obviously I didn’t participate in building early computing/Internet infrastructure when I was 4. But that’s what I do now. Feel free to whinge if you can do the same.

***pro = hired guns for companies with no on-staff, assuming they actually know what they’re doing…people pitching ‘network assessment reports’ need not apply.
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Tuesday January 15th, 2019 11:11 Well, that was predictable

Never underestimate how quickly the knuckle-dragging douche nozzle contingent will freak out when it’s suggested they learn how to human:

It’s an ad suggesting that harassing and belittling women is a bad thing. That one probably shouldn’t just watch little kids get into fistfights or gang up to hunt each other like animals. That bullying is wrong. That teaching a young boy to become a good man is a pretty fine idea. That those who are already men can sometimes act better.

Seriously? Who has a problem with that?

If you do, please go away. The rest of us find you just as unwelcome as you did that commercial.

Because, really, why are you always complaining? You’re way too sensitive. You should smile more.

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Thursday October 18th, 2018 22:24 A modest proposal

In: Anime, Music/Movies/TV, OtherNo Comments

Sunday April 8th, 2018 13:55 Stop overrating “A Quiet Place”


I’ll admit up front that the first half of this new sci-fi thriller is brilliantly done. The tension and lack of dialogue came across thick, akin to 2009’s The Road or 2013’s All Is Lost. Non-recent references would include the eerie quiet of some sections in The Holy Mountain, the close-quarters of Albino Alligator or the heaviness of existential dread in the (superior remake of) Cape Fear.

But even in the midst of that brilliance, they tipped their hand by showing the mother of the group to be pregnant.

A family that meticulously constructed a soundproof basement, alarm system, hidden food storage and laid miles worth of sound-dampening sand – all, apparently, without making so much as the minor toy-bleep noise that caused their son’s near-instantaneous death – have decided it’s a great idea to bring a newborn to this party.

Are you kidding me?

And once they cued the inevitable ‘dad’s out while monsters make it into the house and mom’s giving birth all at the same time’ nonsense, they had the gall to make that tropish garbage even worse by having the mom hide away, only to silently emerge with a bouncing baby boy 90 seconds later.

I’m no parent or expert on childbirth, but it takes me longer than that to pee in the morning. Producing a watermelon-sized mammal seems like it’d take more time.

There’s also the bit about the daughter having her common sense glands removed when it takes her 4 total tries to figure out that the painful feedback from her cochlear implant perfectly coincides with the monsters running away. This, while her character was clearly smart enough – at least earlier in the film when it was convenient – to have figured that out immediately.

Lastly, what little monster logic was presented flew out the window the second anyone started explaining things.

There’s the comically-simplistic whiteboard shown in the background of basement shots. A list of strengths and weaknesses that might well have been the product of a middle-school group-project brainstorming session.

I can’t recall the exact wording, but one of them proclaimed that the monsters hunted by sound. This fact warranted being written in large letters, lest anyone forget, despite that the toilet-rag NY Post ran it as a banner headline that was prominently shown in the first scene…or that they built an entire farm around that fact.

Pretty sure we got that one. Maybe jot down something the entire remaining human population doesn’t know?

Then there’s the fact that a total lack of sight (besides being an overdone baddie trait) completely changes all the previous encounters.

The monster knew, when the toy space shuttle went off in the soon-slain son’s hands, not to attack the toy itself, but the area just beside the toy where the human would be. We know this because the toy is still around to lay at his memorial site, months later, completely intact.

For those who haven’t seen it: these monsters are at least twice the size of a grown human, and the toy was a dollar-store special you could break by looking at it the wrong way.

How did the monster know a human was holding it? How does the monster differentiate between human-made sounds and nature-made sounds (take a trip to the country – nature is bloody loud)? If it can distinguish, why is the waterfall a magical place of therapeutic yelling?

Then the bigger questions:

How many of these monsters are around such that any sound anywhere means instant death? Is this such a dumb beast that an entire family can walk on pre-defined sand paths for years on end without a pattern being noticed? Is this a worldwide event, making any available shelter equally valuable/practical? If so, why is it hard to raise someone on a shortwave radio – which are unusual but not at all rare? Did they somehow attack relay antennas or broadcast wide-band interference? If so, how did it take more than a week to think of disruptive waves as a weapon, let alone a year before it happened by accident?

That last one is a golden nerd-hero opportunity, and neither nerds nor geeks miss those.

Long story short (oh, how I wish it was), they were doing so well for about 45 minutes, only to succumb to cheap convenience in the next 45.

And the former does not make up for the latter.

In: Music/Movies/TVNo Comments

Thursday February 22nd, 2018 15:26 Cisco Easter Egg

Just poking around at IP phones today when I ran across this device:

2018-02-22 15_22_55-Cisco IP Conference Phone 8832 - Cisco

If you look real close, you will see that the person they are calling is none other than:

Neu im Kino: TragikomĖ†die "Rushmore" mit Jason Schwartzman

That is all.

In: Computers, Music/Movies/TV, OtherNo Comments

Sunday January 14th, 2018 02:02 Some men are unsalvageable

As is obvious from my previous post, I recently went to see The Last Jedi.

But as a rational human who doesn’t hate or disparage people for the happenstance of naturally-occurring chromosomes, it had never occurred to me to think that anyone would see that film as particularly feminist, let alone have a problem with it.

I mean, I know there are several characters that have vaginas and everything, and a few of those were in positions of power at that point in the storyline. Yet at no point did it encroach upon anything that seemed like a director or writer going out of their way to make a woman more prominent than the story called for*.

As such, it surprised the hell out of me to learn that some jackass made a cut of that movie called (couldn’t make this up): “The Last Jedi: De-Feminized Fanedit (aka The Chauvinist Cut)”



I tracked this down – if you want to, feel free. I’m not linking to this garbage – and, Bless His Noodly Appendage, it’s everything it sounds like and more. A sample of the description:

– No whiny/reluctant/murderous psycho Luke.
– NO HALDO! She simply doesn’t exist. Her whole subplot doesn’t exist. The Kamikaze is carried out by Poe. ( = Poe dies.)
– Leia never scolds, questions nor demotes Poe.
– Lea dies. Kylo kills her.

– Phasma is finished after the first blow by Finn. (Women are naturally weaker than men, she isn’t force-sensitive, and we know nothing about any exo-skeleton in her suit)
– Asian chick speaks less, doesn’t bully Finn, Finn doesn’t try to escape, she is never formally introduced. She is just there and occasionally smiles at Finn or screams “Finn!”. She has no sister. Serves her right for all the heinous stuff she did.

Aside: just then, I had a lot of trouble copying and pasting. My own computer doesn’t want to see that shit

Not-so-Aside: The “asian chick” is named Rose. Hers was not a good character, but she has a name, you racist, misogynist twat. You only noticed her because Kelly Marie Tran was so good they made what was originally a throwaway character into something more. I might not like the end product either, but my opinion is incapable of changing how good she is at her job.

As I said before, I’m not a big fan of this film. But I just became a very big fan of someone kicking this douchebag in the nuts.

Like, hard enough so he can no longer breed, if you please.

The traditional parlance would suggest I say it ‘takes a lot of balls’ to do something like this. I disagree.

It in fact takes a distinct lack of balls, as any real man would not only barely notice the completely uncontroversial and entirely realistic female presence in this film, but would never be offended on any level – certainly not at a level that they felt the need to waste their precious time on this earth (apologies to the word ‘precious’ there) cutting up a handycam recording of a movie such that it got rid o’ them uppity wimmins.

You make all men look bad, and you’re out of the club, asshole. You’ve been demoted to ‘testicular cancer’ status; seems appropriate for a cancer upon us all who stains the name of those whose happenstance of naturally-occurring chromosomes forces us to share the trait of having testicle.

*Clarification: Ain’t a damn thing wrong with a director or writer going out of their way to make a woman or women a prominent part of their story. But it does bother me when they do so in a way that makes it stand out like someone is shoehorning a female character into a position that combats the logical flow of a story. It’s counterproductive to both the film and (what I assume is an earnestly good version of) the intended impact. If you have to do that, your story is flawed. A character worth shoehorning should have been better written into the story to begin with, and you might just need to start over. Same goes for non-white characters.

In: Music/Movies/TV, News, PoliticsNo Comments

Wednesday January 10th, 2018 10:42 Taking a stance on porgs

It’s an incredibly unpopular idea, but I must officially say: fuck porgs.


Now, before someone lights my ass on fire: yes, I think they’re adorable and awesome and in any other context, I’d be typing while sitting on a human-sized porg pillow right now.

But the big problem with The Last Jedi is that it couldn’t decide if it wanted to take itself seriously.

They threw out some incredibly heavy shit in that movie:

  • Kylo having to decide whether or not to kill his own mother
  • Really, almost everything that happens to Kylo
  • Luke damn near killing his own apprentice – which was an amazing parallel to his father’s actions
  • Multiple decisions involving the sacrifice of hundreds of members of the dwindling resistance

In the middle of all that, if they just had some cute, funny porgs popping up a few times, it would have been perfect to relieve some of the tension. Instead, we also got:

  • Little orphan slave kids
  • BB-8
  • Rose
  • Fathiers
  • Vulptex
  • Luke, Finn, Poe, and DJ cracking entirely unnecessary jokes, some using modern-era idioms they couldn’t possibly have known
  • That weird little fat thing in the casino
  • The Caretakers
  • Chewy feeling bad about eating a porg (Seriously, he already killed it, plucked/skinned it and cooked it. Not to mention he’s a Wookie.)

Some of those participated in the heavy stuff, and, individually, I’m on board with everything in that list.

But damned if having all that didn’t make me cringe in expectation of another gag being thrown in at an inappropriate time.

Never was that feeling worse than that badass scene with Luke walking out in front of an entire Imperial walker division. The shoulder brush tested the waters, but was subtle enough to be okay. I deeply feared they’d completely ruin that one.

So, long story short: fuck porgs.

Unless you’ve got an extra one I can take home.

In: Music/Movies/TVNo Comments

Tuesday January 2nd, 2018 16:43 First thoughts of the new year

I was configging a workstation on the Dell site, just to see what the price would be, when I noticed that selecting the ‘no mouse’ option enabled the following spec code:


And now, all I can think about is this:

Perhaps 2018 will be an improvement.

In: Computers, Music/Movies/TV, OtherNo Comments


IT guy, dev, designer, writer.

Got a degree in print journalism from UF but history dealt some bad cards to that industry, so I moved back to an earlier love: the computer.

Was recently at ZMOS Networks, but am now the Senior IT Associate at the Edna McConnell Clark Foundation.

My name is moderately common, as are a couple screen names, so always look for the logo to make sure you're reading something with official Km approval.

You can get to me directly with kyle(@)